“TLAfrica imeleta uponyaji mahali hapa”

(Translation: TLAfrica has brought healing to this place)

 

EVENT DATES: August 29TH TO 30TH 2024

EVENT VENUE: International Prayer House (IPH) Church Banja in Vihiga County, Kenya

PARTICIPANTS: 47 Attendees (Over 20 pastors and their wives)

FACILITATORS: Benson & Lynette Weru (Friends of TLAfrica)

We celebrate our first Marriage Enrichment seminar conducted by the Kenya Office in Western Kenya! We were blessed to have a suitable, quiet, and pleasant venue, IPH Church Banja, which is located on a hill overlooking the beautiful Nandi hills.

Our host, Pastor Eric Isiji, is the Chair of the Evangelical Alliance of Kenya in Hamisi sub-county. Our conversation with him and his wife began in May 2024, when we visited his church for a WEP recruitment drive and shared with him the other initiatives of TLAfrica. He challenged us to consider hosting pastoral training in the area, saying that as an overseer of pastors, he sees a great need to bring together pastors in the region for ministry seminars that can inspire them to better their ministries and grow their theological skills. What began as a simple fellowship developed over time, and led to this event that brought together over 20 couples, meaning over 20 churches in the region.

The topics covered during the seminar include Biblical Foundations of Marriage, Biblical Versus Traditional Models of Marriage, Marriage and Ministry, Financial Intimacy, and Communication and Conflict Resolution in Marriage.

The facilitators co-taught the sessions, providing time for the pastors and their wives to respond to the lessons. Some cultural issues were hotly discussed, and addressed biblically, for example, the Biblical response to childlessness in marriage. The participants had time to worship God, dance and enjoy Luhya praise songs, pray for each other, discuss various aspects of marriage, and share meals.

There were break-out sessions where the pastors and the pastors’ wives were in separate groups discussing the unique challenges that face them in ministry, that relate to marriage. On the second day, the morning session began with a prayer session, whereby the couples prayed for each other according to what had been learned.

We asked participants about their takeaways, highlights, what they would do differently in their marriage, and how they would like TLAfrica to engage them again. The following comments stood out from this feedback session:

Irene: “In our culture, the women who do not have children are despised, and the husbands look for other wives who can give them children. Also, if a woman only bears girls, the husband gets another wife to give him boys. In this seminar, we have learned about the Traditional versus Biblical Model of marriage and appreciated that a marriage is valid and complete even without children. We have been taught that children are gifts from God.”

Jeff: “I have realized that when I officiate weddings I usually follow the traditional model of marriage. I tell the bride to move from her parents’ side to the groom’s side. In the traditional culture, this is what happens because the girl is taken by the groom’s family as property. But now I can give better guidance even with that symbolic act in weddings, because of the reading from Genesis 2:24, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.’

Peter: “What stood out is that I am a sinner, and I married a sinner like me, so I should extend grace to her.”

Martin: “I realized that I have grown to love my children more than my wife. I only bring the children gifts, and I forget their mother. I have been reminded that the children are visitors. They will only stay with us for some time, but eventually, I will remain with my wife.”

Jackline: ‘We would like to have more teaching on marriage, counseling, and tent-making.”

Violet: “TLAfrica has brought healing to this place. This is a much-needed healing for the family, for the church, and for the nation. We believe that this is a new beginning—because something like this has never happened in this place.”

Eric: “The lesson on financial intimacy touched my heart, especially the ‘one-pot principle.’ Now I know that in marriage I should disclose to my wife about my income, as she also discloses hers, and we hold a meeting to discuss how much God has given us, and how God wants us to spend it. From now on I will invite my wife’s participation in this process.”

Ludecky: ‘We would appreciate training on tent-making. Pastors are hard-pressed in the rural areas and we want to know how we can have alternative income streams…”

“TLAfrica has given us the ‘jembes’ for Marriage and Ministry. It is our responsibility to go and do the work now.”

“We want to express our heartfelt gratitude to TL Africa for the incredible work you are doing to empower grassroots pastors. We are especially thankful for the opportunity to partner with you in enriching the marriages of these dedicated leaders.

We also commend the administrative team’s excellence. The conference was conducted with the utmost professionalism, from providing printouts, water, and refreshments to ensuring a quality sound system. We felt TL Africa’s generosity in ensuring our travel was comfortable and seamless.

The couple who hosted the conference exemplified a life of faith and commitment in their marriage, making them a perfect choice for the event.

The participants were exactly the right audience—pastors shepherding churches. Their engagement and interaction gave us valuable insights into the realities of marriages within their communities. It was clear that they found the discussions meaningful and relevant, which encouraged us as facilitators.

Similarly, the conference had a profound impact on us as facilitators. Listening to the pastors share their stories with such authenticity was humbling and a powerful reminder of the importance of lifelong learning. As we discussed timeless principles of marriage—like giving and receiving grace and intimacy – the art of truly knowing and being known—we found our own commitment to our marriage renewed. The entire experience was genuinely refreshing.

There is a genuine need for further engagement on this and other related topics. Discipleship takes time, and we trust that TL Africa will continue to lead seminars and training in this vital area.”

Lynette and Benson gifted the host couple a book on marriage, to encourage them in their journey.

 

Report by: Florah Kidula, Team Leader and Project Manager, Kenya Office